A Turn in the Road
by Willful Redhead
Summary: A visit from an old friend, leads Hannah to consider the choices she's made.
1. Chapter 1

_Some of this story is a result of suggestion that I was given by reviewers. I keep thinking I've written my last story, and then something else pops into my head. This story takes place sometime after Round Up. As always I appreciate your comments, and hope you enjoy this story as well. _

Evan McFadden glared at his younger brother irritated. He knew that if anyone was going to tell Adam, he'd cut class, it would be Ford. He was sorry now that he'd teased him so often in the past. There was no way Ford would show him any mercy. He ran to catch up to him as they walked from the bus home.

"Hey, Ford . . ." Evan said.

"Well, brother, I see you've decided to spend some time with me." He sneered at Evan.

"Listen, I've just got to get in some extra practice for the rodeo. I just need a little more time. If you tell Adam, he'll never let me compete!"

"Why wouldn't I want to tell him? I'm just concerned about you neglecting your education."

"The hell you are! Listen, what do you want? I'll make it happen." Evan begged.

"I really hate morning chores." Ford grinned.

"Yeah, okay. You don't need to worry about them! I got it covered." Evan said. "So, you won't say anything?"

"As long as I get to sleep in." Ford said.

"No problem! Thanks man! Thanks!" Evan sighed in relief. "Don't worry about your chores! I got 'em covered!"

"You better." Ford said with a malicious grin.

***7***

"Alright, then. Settle down. I've got an announcement." Adam said as they all finished dinner.

"Oh, no. I feel like I'm about to get a whole bunch more chores." Guthrie groaned.

"No, nothing like that. A friend of Hannah's is coming to visit this weekend, and I want everyone on their best behavior. Make sure you keep your rooms and your language clean. We can't have her reporting back that Hannah was kidnapped by a bunch of savage yahoos." He grinned at her from across the table.

"Whole lot of nonsense about nothing." Hannah said rising and beginning to clear the table. "You boys just be yourselves. I'm not putting on a fancy show for anyone. I like you fine just the way you are."

"Whatever you do fellas," Crane said with a grin. "Please, don't be yourselves. Be nicer." They laughed and he moved to help with the dishes. "Who's this friend anyway?" He asked her.

"Oh, her name's Finley, and we met as freshman in college. She just graduated, and is taking a vacation before she starts work. I haven't seen her in two years at least. She's . . . well . . ." She hesitated. "She's a little bit wild. I'm sort of nervous about her coming here. I just hope she behaves herself." She grinned at Crane.

"I forgot you were in college. You didn't finish, though?" He asked.

"No. I ran out of money and decided to waitress for a little bit to save up. I just had about three semesters left."

"What was your major? I bet it wasn't agriculture!" He said laughing.

"No. English. I can't think of anything less useful to me now, than a degree in English." She laughed. "But I love to read and I thought maybe I would teach, like my grandmother did."

"You'd be a good teacher, Hannah." Guthrie said. "But some of those boys are pretty rowdy."

"Oh, I can handle rowdy boys!" She said turning to Guthrie with a grin. "They don't scare me!"

"Good thing!" Adam said rising and kissing her. "Well, we better get going, Brian. We shouldn't be gone long, honey." And grabbing his hat he and Brian walked out the door.

"Well, I guess I better get to that homework." Ford said. "I sure do hate geometry though." He looked at Evan.

"I guess I could help you." Evan said.

Crane turned surprised. "Well, I guess you're taking Adam's talk to heart already. If you boys get stuck, let me know." He turned back to the dishes. "That has to mean they love you Hannah. I've never known any McFadden to volunteer to take on more geometry!"

She smiled at him. "My money's on there being more to that story."


	2. Chapter 2

Hannah stood just outside Murphys Hotel chewing the inside of her lip nervously. She didn't know why seeing Finley made her so nervous, but it did. She looked down and smoothed her skirt, and just as she looked up she saw Finely come out of the front door. Finley Johnson was beautiful with long blond hair and bright blue eyes. She was at least 5'9 and towered over Hannah. She wore a soft blue business suit with the highest pair of heels that Hannah had ever seen; an impractical ensemble at best.

"Finley!" Hannah said embracing her.

"Hannah! You haven't aged a day!" Finley said. "I'll give you one thing, it sure is beautiful here." She said releasing her and looking around.

"You have everything you need?" Hannah asked turning toward the jeep. "You don't want to change? I'm not sure those heels will survive the ranch."

"Oh, I can walk anywhere in them." She grinned at her. "We aren't going to be actually herding cattle, are we?"

"No." Hannah said with a laugh. "Although, don't kid yourself, it's always a possibility. Right here." She said indicating the jeep.

"Interesting." Finley said and attempted to climb up, but the pencil skirt she wore made it difficult. Hannah watched as Peter Henkins crossed the street to help her.

"Here, Ma'am." He said giving her a hand and helping her up into the jeep.

"Ma'am?" She said looking down at him. "Thank you, sir."

He tipped his hat to her. "No problem for a pretty filly like you." He nodded at Hannah. "Mrs. McFadden." He said with a grin.

"Oh, knock it off Peter." Hannah said to him. "Thank you."

"You're welcome Hannah. If your friend needs any more help. Just let me know. You got the number." He said as he walked down Main Street away from them.

"Pretty filly? Hannah, did you move back to the 1950s?" Finley asked laughing.

"Just about. Its a small place and a new person, particularly a beautiful woman, kind of stands out." Hannah said.

They headed out of town and talked as best they could in an open jeep roaring through the countryside. As they turned beneath the Circle Bar Seven arch and onto the driveway, Finley's eyes widened in surprise.

"Good Lord! You live on an actual ranch!" She looked around her. "There's a barn and everything!"

"What did you think I meant when I said I married a rancher?" Hannah asked.

"Oh, I don't know. I thought you meant he grew a big garden. But this? This is all so very real. You got horses and cows?"

"And pigs, sheep, chickens -the whole thing." Hannah smiled at Finley. "I hope you have some regular shoes in that bag of yours because heels and this place, well, they aren't a perfect match."

"I'm starting to see that." Finely said.

They pulled up to the house and Hannah gave her the grand tour. Daniel was just headed out to catch up to his brothers who were out checking the stock.

"I'll see you later, Hannah. I better get going, or Adam'll have my hide. I'm already later than I said." He said. "It sure is nice to meet you ma'am." He said nodding toward Finley.

"What are you off to go do?" Finley asked curious.

"There was a bad storm two nights ago, so we're going up to the Tops to check on the stock." He explained.

"Check the stock?" Finley repeated.

"The cows." Hannah explained.

"Oh, yeah. Right." Finley said. "It was nice meeting you."

"Yes, ma'am." Daniel said turning to go.

"Oh, wait!" Hannah said. "Adam forgot that pie I saved him." She disappeared into the kitchen and came back with a small paper bag. "Thanks Daniel." She smiled at him.

"You spoil him." He said to her, and kissing her cheek, he left.

"Want some coffee?" Hannah asked.

"Sure." Finley said following her into the kitchen where she sat at the long table. "Do they all look like that?"

Hannah smiled. "They do."

"Well, I can see the pros to living here. How many brothers?"

"Six." Hannah said waiting for the inevitable reaction.

"Six? Good God! Is that what killed her?" Finley said laughing and Hannah was glad they were alone.

"No. It was a car crash and don't . . . don't. Finely, it still brings them pain." Hannah said handing a cup of coffee to her.

"Right. Sorry. I just . . . I mean seven sons? Even you have to admit it is a little excessive."

"Who'd we throw away then? Guthrie? Evan? You meet them all and tell me if it is excessive." Hannah said trying to suppress her irritation.

"I'm sorry, Hannah. It just is a surprise is all; to see you here. I mean, I know you wrote about it, but it is so vivid. Tell me again, how you met."

"Oh, I don't know." Hannah said but smiled even just thinking of the memory of watching Adam walk into the cafe the very first time. His long legs, and white cowboy hat lowered so that she could just see his eyes. He'd taken it off, of course, once he was inside and smiled, revealing fine dimples and a chiseled jaw. She had been taken by surprise. She had seen him on the street once before, but standing in front of her, well, she was overwhelmed. He looked like a man who would never, ever leave.

"He came in to the cafe and he was so handsome, and I don't know. I just was sort of drawn to him, I guess. Oh, and there was this awful couple there. You would've killed the husband. He kept being mean to his wife, and so I said something, and then Adam stepped in. The husband didn't like it, and they fought. The first thing Adam did though, was make sure I was safe and out of the way. Anyway, this jerk was huge and he gave Adam a horrible black eye. So I got him some ice and we sat down together and talked, and I don't know. It was about five weeks later that we stood up in this little church and were married." She looked up at Finley her face still bright with the memory.

"Five weeks? Hannah! You hardly knew him!"

"Well, that's true, and I had no idea what it meant to help him with his brothers and this ranch, but he makes me really happy. He loves me, and I love him. I can't explain it. I knew it from that very first minute too." She shrugged her shoulders.

"It just seemed so sudden to me. If you're happy, though." Finley said.

"I am." Hannah said.

"Well, then good. Now, I don't suppose you have some shoes I can borrow? I would love for you to give me the grand tour, but I'll never make it in these heels."

Hannah laughed. "I'll see what I can find."

***7***

"She's really, really good-looking." Daniel reported to his brothers.

"She came alone? No husband or boyfriend?" Brian asked with raised eyebrows.

"All by her pretty, little self." Daniel said with a grin.

"Hmmm." Brian said. "Didn't you say that there was some problem with raccoons getting into the garden? Maybe I should head back and check on that." Brian grinned at Adam.

"She's a college girl, Brian." Crane said pointedly.

"Yeah, but I'm better looking than you." Brian said.

"She can be the judge of that." Crane said.

"Are you two through? I don't know if you've noticed but we've got some work to do." Adam said irritated.

"Hey, this is important." Brian said.

"He doesn't understand." Crane said to Brian.

"I know." Brian nodded.

"Hey!" Adam said. "Could we get this done? Huh?"

"It's just plain selfishness, that's what it is." Crane said ignoring Adam.

"That's exactly it. He's got a beautiful girl and he could care less about the rest of us." Brian agreed.

"Sure. He can snuggle up to her anytime he wants, but what about us?" Crane said.

"We are all alone." Brian said looking at Adam who rolled his eyes.

"You finished?" He asked.

"Crane?" Brian asked and Crane nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

"Good, 'cause I could use a hand." Adam said.

"Sure Dad!" Crane said laughing.

"Don't call me dad!" Adam said irritated.

***7***

Adam wished he'd had an opportunity to clean up before he met Finley. He could see why Daniel had said she was beautiful, she was, but she looked like the kind of girl Adam always labeled as "complicated".

They were sitting on the front porch and Finley appeared to be wearing a pair of Hannah's boots.

"Good afternoon, ladies." He said trying to sound gallant.

"This is him?" Finley asked turning to Adam.

"The one and only." Hannah said rising and reaching out and extending her hand to Adam. He grabbed hold and came to stand beside her. "Finley, this is Adam, my husband."

"It's a pleasure to meet you, ma'am." He said shaking her hand.

"Oh, ma'am?" She laughed. "The pleasure is all mine."

She looked beyond him and he glanced behind to see Brian, Crane and Daniel.

"Oh, these are my brothers. Brian, Crane and Daniel." He indicated each one.

"Sit down fellas. I got some fresh lemonade." Hannah said.

"I'll help you." Adam said following her inside.

"Are you having fun?" He asked her as they walked through the house and into the kitchen.

"Yes, but I've done nothing all day! The kids will be home and I haven't even thought about dinner!" She said surprised at how late it was already.

"Brian and I will barbecue those ribs. We just have to get 'em in the smoker and then we'll get back to work." He smiled at her.

"Thanks!" She said throwing her arms around him and kissing him.

"Well, as long as you promise to get right back to work tomorrow." He said shaking a finger at her.

"Yes, sir." She said rolling her eyes at him.

He lifted the tray with glasses and the pitcher of lemonade and moved to go back out to the porch. "We better rescue her, girl. Those brothers of mine were elbowing each other to get close to her."

"Cowboys." Hannah said with a shake of her head.

***7***

"I will have to go to excercise class twice a day for a week to make up for that meal! How are you so thin?" Finley asked turning toward Hannah.

"Spend a few days working the ranch and you'll see. Plus, they were being polite for your sake. Normally, it can be pretty tough to get at the food before them." Hannah said. She rose to begin to clear the dishes.

"No way, Sis." Crane said. "We got the dishes tonight." He smiled at her.

"Thank you." She said and standing up on tiptoe she kissed his cheek.

Smiling he said, "You girls go visit in the other room. Guthrie here, will bring you coffee if you want it."

"Girls?" Finley said, but Hannah interrupted her.

"Quick before they change their minds." Hannah said.

"Well, I got to admit being surrounded by seven men would be a pretty tempting situation." Finley said sitting on the couch.

"I only expected the one." She said laughing.

"What do you mean?" Finley asked.

"Oh, I didn't mention that? Adam neglected to inform me that I'd be living with his six brothers until _after_ the wedding." Hannah watched Finley's eyes grow wide, and wished she hadn't said anything. "It isn't like it sounds. He was just . . ."

"He didn't tell you? Hannah!" Finley said shocked. "Are you sure . . ." But just then Guthrie came in carefully balancing a tray with a pot of coffee and two cups. He set it down on the table closest to Hannah and sat down next to her clearly relieved.

"That was tricky." He said. "I don't know how you carried all those plates." He said looking at Hannah.

"Practice." She told him. "Thanks Guthrie."

"Now, I'm going upstairs to do my homework because Adam said if I didn't I would be down here bugging you. It was nice meeting you." He said to Finley.

"If you need help, you can ask me." Hannah told him brushing his bangs out of his eyes.

"No I can't. Adam said so. Crane said he'll help me. So now you know what kind of sacrifice I'm making." He said looking at her. "I only mention it because I've got that birthday coming up, and I want you to remember this. If I ask Crane even one question, he'll spend at least thirty minutes explaining the answer." He put a hand on her arm and said dramatically. "I've got twenty-seven math problems alone. You remember that." He smiled at her.

"I'll keep it in mind, cowboy." She told him and grinning at her he went upstairs.

Hannah raised her eyebrows at Finley. "You can see how they trapped me here."

"He's a sweet kid." Finley admitted. "But don't you want to go back?"

"Where?" Hannah asked pouring a cup of coffee.

"To school. You could still finish." Finley said.

"No, I don't even think about it. I've got enough here." She handed Finley a cup of coffee and Adam, Brian, Daniel, Evan and Ford came into the room.

"Homework." Adam said and Evan and Ford sighed and climbed the stairs, just as they reached the top, Ford said testily, "Yes, Dad."

"Don't call me Dad!" Adam hollered at them, and then sat down next to Hannah on the couch. "I hate it when they do that."

"Seeing as how fast you two got married I'm surprised you aren't on the fast track to parenthood too." Finley said taking a sip of coffee. The room grew uncomfortably silent, so that Finley looked up surprised.

"Well, I didn't want to overdo it." Hannah said squeezing Adam's hand and swallowing down tears. "So, when do you start your big job?"

"Two weeks. I'm moving to Sacramento, so I won't be too far from you. Maybe you can take a weekend and visit sometime." Finley said. She looked around the room. "So, what do you do for fun around here."

"Well, unfortunately, unless there's a dance in town, you are looking at it." Brian said with a wink.

"There's a movie theater over in Sonora." Crane offered.

"Why don't you play something, Daniel?" Hannah asked. "We make our own entertainment." Hannah explained.

"I see." Finley said, and Hannah watched her old friend thinking that Finley probably didn't see at all.

***7***

"What's the matter?" Adam said almost immediately after coming into their room.

"Nothing. Who said anything's wrong?" She said looking up at him from where she sat in the armchair finishing a shirt she'd sewn for Daniel.

"Nobody, you just look . . . never mind." He said kissing her cheek with a smile.

"Thanks for driving her back into town. Did she say anything?" She glanced at her husband nervously.

"I bet you'd like to know." He grinned at her. "Nah, she just asked about life on the ranch. I tried to get information about the boys you used to know, but she was silent. I was pretty frustrated." He sat down on the edge of their bed.

"Adam," Hannah said. "You know I was studying to be a nun before I met you. There aren't any boys to talk about." She batted her eyelashes at him innocently and then burst out laughing.

He shook a finger at her saying, "You better watch it, girl!" He leaned over and began to work at his boots.

"She wants to take me out tomorrow - shopping." She crossed to where he was struggling to take off his boots, and standing over his leg, helped him pull them off.

"Hey, I got an extra forty dollars stashed away!" He said rising and crossing the room. He disappeared into the closet and then came out holding the money in his hands. "You can use it tomorrow. Buy something pretty." He smiled at her kissing her on the forehead.

"Oh, we should save it. Lord knows, Ford's gonna need another pair of shoes any day now." She sat down on the bed.

"No, I saved it for you. I was thinking of taking you out somewhere, or if I could save up enough, I thought we could go away some place for a night or two." He pushed the money back into her hand.

"Thanks, Adam." She said tucking the money into her purse. She sat down on the bed beside him, and they said nothing for a few minutes. Finally he spoke.

"You could go back to school, Hannah. You could finish it, if that's what you want." He said to her.

"What? I never said anything about that! Is that what you talked about? Finley is so . . . Why would I need a degree in English? What good would it do me here?" She looked at him. "If anyone should go to school, it should be you. You set it aside long enough. We could figure a way to run things. The boys are old enough."

"Oh, college isn't for me." He said. "I can't imagine sitting behind a desk again. It's been too long! And I'm not going to be a doctor now. That would take too many hours, and too much time away from you. I'd rather be a rancher." He sighed.

"You could do it. You're plenty smart. Crane told me about your grades. I had no idea I was marrying the class valedictorian." She smiled at him.

"Quit changing the subject. We aren't talking about me. We are talking about you. And I'm serious, Hannah. You can do anything you want. I want you to have everything. If I had all the money in the world . . ." He looked at her.

"If you had all the money in the world, you would've been able to pick any girl . . ." She said laughing.

"Don't talk like that!" His voice was surprisingly sharp. "Girl, there's no one else on this whole earth, but you!" He put his arms around her. "Don't lie to me and tell me you aren't upset. What is it?"

"Nothing. Finley's just . . .she doesn't understand that living on a ranch, taking care of you and the boys, it doesn't make me less of woman. She measures things by diplomas and careers. It's frustrating, is all." She rose and pulled back the covers of the bed.

"She's probably not too impressed with me. I'm not exactly the epitome of the modern man. I'm glad she wasn't with us on round-up." He winced at the memory of how badly he'd behaved.

"Oh, let it go, Adam. It all got worked out, and . . . it's none of her business really." She had changed into her pajamas - his pajamas actually.

"What would your good friend Finley think if she knew you were a notorious thief." He said indicating her pajamas and pulling her into his arms.

She smiled. "You wanna take 'em back?" She stood with a hand on her hip, her eyebrows raised.

"Yeah." He said leaning in and kissing her. "As a matter of fact, I do." And she laughed even as he kissed her.


	3. Chapter 3

Crane watched as Evan trudged through the early morning dark to the barn. He rubbed his beard thoughtfully and followed him outside.

"What are you doing? I thought it was Ford's job?" Crane asked Evan, startling him.

"Well, I thought I'd help him out because . . ." Evan struggled.

"Because?" Crane asked.

"Well, there's this girl." Evan said brightening. "And Ford knows her so . . ."

"A girl? And Ford can talk to her?" Crane looked at Evan suspiciously.

"Yeah." Evan replied.

"You know I once did two weeks worth of chores for Brian because he knew something that I didn't want Mom to find out about." Evan looked up sharply.

"What did he know?"

"Oh, that doesn't really matter. But in the end, I got sick of being taken advantage of and confessed." Crane told him.

"What happened?" Evan asked.

"Well, it turns out, Mom knew all along." He grinned at the memory of his mother laughing and telling him that she had known all about his secret hunting trip with his two best friends. She had been furious with him, and he'd been forbidden to hunt for the rest of the month, but other than that his parents had figured Brian had punished him enough.

"_I'm not raising a deceitful man, am I Crane?" His mother had asked him in her gentle voice. "That's not the kind of man you're deciding to be?"_

"_No ma'am." He'd said sincerely, tears gathering in his eyes. "I'm sorry Mom." And then he'd been swallowed up in a hug as she kissed his forehead. _

"_I forgive you Crane." She smiled down into his eyes. "You are as steady and trustworthy as your father. This was just a mistake."_

_Three weeks later, he'd stood beside her grave._

He sighed, looking at Evan. "I'm glad it is just over a girl. I would hate to find out you were a dishonest person." He left the barn as the color drained from Evan's face. Crane almost wanted to laugh out loud. His mother had been a very smart woman.

***7***

Hannah spent most of the morning trying not to feel like a fish out of water. Finley had insisted on driving all the way to Sonora where there were some "fancier" shops. Everything cost a ridiculous amount of money. Finley had already bought four skirts and three more pairs of improbable heels. Hannah wandered over to the men's section of the store.

She was studying a pair of boy's shoes when Finley found her.

"What are you doing?" Finley asked.

"Well, Ford's been growing and growing. He'll need new shoes soon and . . ."

"We are shopping for you." Finley said. "Come on, let's see if we can't find you something nice." Grabbing hold of Hannah's arm, she dragged her across the store and led her to a pair of bright red, stiletto heels. "What about these?" She asked.

"Well, if I didn't kill myself trying to walk in them, they'd still be pretty impractical. I would never wear them Finley. It would be a waste of," She lifted the shoes to see the price. "$120! Good Lord! There's no way I'd ever spend that kind of money on ONE pair of shoes!"

"Well, I give up! You are impossible! Don't you have any fun anymore? I feel like I don't even know you, and I'm talking to some housewife from the 1950s! I swear I heard that husband of yours call you 'girl' this morning! Why don't we go upstairs to the kitchen department and buy you a new apron!"

"I have fun!" Hannah protested. "Adam doesn't mean it like that. He calls me girl because . . . well, I don't think it's really any of your business anyway!"

"Well, it sounds . . ." Finley began but Hannah interrupted her.

"I don't have to prove anything to you. You are supposed to be all about women having choices, aren't you? Well, this is what I choose. I chose NOT to get my degree and I choose to help my husband raise his brothers. Besides those shoes are ridiculous! And I already have an apron - actually I have three; one of them I sewed myself." She stood with her hand on her hip on the verge of being furiously angry, but Finley began to smile, and soon they were both laughing.

Finley collapsed in one of the chairs. "Alright, then, I'm determined. Let's find something useful then, but it needs to be pretty too."

It was late afternoon when they returned. The boys were just beginning to gather for dinner, and seeing the jeep with Hannah _and_ Finley, not one of them was late for once.

"Alright, now, I've decided that I'm taking all of you to the movies." Finley said. "But if we're gonna make the 6:30 show, we'll all have to leave pretty soon. So you better be able to get ready in a hurry!"

"I don't know about that." Adam said. "Sonora's a long ways, and we've got church in the morning."

"Oh, come on, Adam! Please!" Guthrie pulled on his big brother's arm.

"I don't know, Guthrie." Adam said hesitantly.

"I don't want to stir up trouble." Finley said. "I just wanted to do something nice because you've all been very kind to me." She looked up at him with her big blue eyes, and Adam almost rolled his eyes. She was exactly the kind of girl that drove him nuts.

"I guess, but I will have to stay behind." He said.

"Oh, why?" Hannah asked.

"Miller's coming over to get those cattle and I told him I'd help load them." He explained.

"Well, how long will that take?" Finley asked.

"With just the two of us? A good couple of hours." Adam said.

"I'll stay and help you." Brian said.

"Yeah. Me too." Crane agreed. "With the four of us we could get it done in maybe an hour."

"Well, you'd only miss the previews and the beginning. How about I take the rest of you in and you can meet us there? If nothing else, you can meet us for ice cream afterwards." She said.

Hannah stood alone on the porch waving to Finley who drove off in the jeep with Ford, Evan, Daniel and Guthrie. She had decided to stay behind with Adam, mostly because there wasn't room in the jeep. Daniel had offered to stay behind, but she knew he was excited about going to the movies - they never did, so she had let him go instead. She sighed and turned back inside the house to wait for Adam, Brian and Crane to finish loading the cows. She went upstairs and looked at the dress that Finley had convinced her to buy. It was a deep blue, and silk and highly impractical, but a compromise of sorts, as she could wear it to weddings or church. She decided that a night out with her husband was special enough of an occasion, and so she slipped the dress on.

She was greeted with whistles when she stepped out onto the porch as they rushed up the steps to get ready to meet the others.

"Hannah!" Brian said. "Maybe Crane and I should stay home. Adam ought to take you some place fancy in that dress."

"Oh." She looked down blushing.

"Dang, girl! You look beautiful!" Adam said moving to put his arms around her, but then looking down at his hands, which were dirty, he hesitated.

"I better get changed, I guess." He smiled at her and leaning in kissed her.

"We'll be quick!" Crane said. "Can't let you waste a good dress like that!" She could hear them rushing around upstairs and moved to get her purse. She was standing in the living room thinking how strangely quiet it was when the phone rang.

***7***

Guthrie was surprised when Daniel let Finley drive the jeep. He'd never known Daniel to miss an opportunity to drive - since the older brothers almost always did. He'd guess it had something to do with how pretty Finley was. Guthrie was squashed behind Daniel who sat in the passenger seat, giving directions to Finley.

"I guess you won't need much help getting there." Daniel was saying. "All you gotta do is drive straight and turn when you see the sign. There's not too much out here."

"I've noticed that." She said.

Guthrie closed his eyes and leaned back in the seat. The sun was just going down and he was going to the movies for once! He knew that he'd finally have something to say when people asked him what he'd done over the weekend. It was almost impossible to keep up with conversations in the open jeep, and so he had no idea what Daniel said that made Finley laugh so hard. He smiled feeling the wind rush over his face. He turned to say something to Ford and so he never saw the truck that slammed into them.


	4. Chapter 4

Adam was halfway down the stairs when the phone started ringing, so rather than run up, he picked it up in the front room. He smiled at Hannah as he passed by her saying, "As soon as I hang up this phone, I'm kissing you, girl." She shook her head at him laughing.

"Hello." He said and she could still hear the smile in his voice. "What? What! Are they . . .? Oh no! Oh, God!"

She turned as his voice changed and was surprised to see him sink down to the floor, the phone falling with a crash.

"Adam!" She said surprised and running to kneel in front of him. "What is it?" He sat with his knees up his face hidden from her. He was shaking. "Brian!" She yelled and picked up the phone.

"Hello? Hello?" She said.

"I was speaking with Adam McFadden." An unfamiliar voice said.

"This . . . this is his wife. Who is this? What happened?" She asked frightened.

"There was an accident. They are bringing his brothers to County General."

"Are they alright? What happened?" She looked down at Adam who still sat with his head down, his arms locked around his knees which were drawn up tight against his chest. Both Brian and Crane had heard her, and had come downstairs.

Crane knelt in front of Adam and she could hear him saying, "Adam? Adam, what is it? Adam?" His hands on his brother's knees. He looked up at Hannah as she hung up the phone. She turned and faced them numbly, dreading the words that she was about to speak.

"There was an accident. They are all . . ." She swallowed hard understanding what she'd just been told. "They took them to the hospital." She said moving to kneel in front of Adam. "We need to go, honey." She said putting her hand on his arm, as Crane moved to make room for her.

Adam looked up then, his face stricken. "Hannah." He said weakly. She put her forehead against his and could say only, "Shh. We'll go and see."

"Come on, partner." Brian said gently, putting a hand under his arm to help him stand. Crane lifted Adam from the other side, and he stood shaking. As he reached out to put an arm around Hannah, his whole arm trembled. He looked from his brothers' faces, to his wife and feeling as though he was trapped in a nightmare from the past said, "It was a truck."

The three of them wrapped their arms around him. They staggered out to the truck together; a huddle of four. It took both Brian and Crane, to help him up into the truck and Hannah climbed behind the driver's seat. Brian slid in next to Adam and Crane climbed into the back. He thumped the roof of the truck and said, "Okay, Hannah! Go on, honey!" The truck roared out of the driveway. Hannah prayed aloud as the truck sped away from the house, still lit with bright lights - the front door open and banging in the wind.


	5. Chapter 5

Ford McFadden sat on the edge of the examining table and said again, "I gotta call my brother! Please, let me talk to him! He'll be so worried about us."

"The sheriff already called." The nurse said gently. "You need to settle down."

"No, you don't understand. He needs to hear that I'm okay." Ford was desperate.

"He's on his way here now." She said patting his arm. "Now, sit back so we can wrap that ankle, okay."

"You need to listen to me." He said grabbing her arm.

"Okay, I'm listening." She said startled by his determination.

"It is just like before, and when they get here." He looked at her face. "You'll need to make sure someone is ready to talk to him."

"Okay, I . . ." She said patting his arm, and getting ready to suggest that the doctor take another look at him.

"No wait! A truck hit our parents. It was a bad crash. They died. It was a long time ago, but Adam's the oldest so he's the one they told first."

She looked at him, her eyes wide.

"The sent the sheriff to him. It's just like before." Ford said. "He'll be . . . make sure the doctor can talk to him."

"Okay, Ford. I understand. It's okay. I'm just going to go talk to the doctors, okay? I'll be right back."

"Thank you!" Ford said relieved at last. He sank back on the table exhausted.

***7***

Daniel opened his eyes and blinked at the blinding brightness of the room. He started to push himself up, but hands held him down.

"Easy now." A woman's voice said to him.

"Hannah?" He asked.

"No, my name's Karen." She said. "Who's Hannah? Is she your girlfriend?"

"No, my . . ." He sat up suddenly remembering. "Where are my brothers?"

"Easy, now." She said. "They are all being taken care of. Doctors are with them. You need to sit back. You are hurt. Do you feel dizzy?" She held his wrist feeling his pulse.

"Yeah." He said. "Did someone call my brother?" He lay back closing his eyes against the bright light. "He's gonna be a . . . Someone better warn whoever's in charge."

"There's been one call for that already." She said. "I'm going to go tell the doctor, you are conscious."

***7***

Finley Johnson paced the hall, wringing her hands. She dreaded the arrival of Hannah and her husband but hoped for it too. She never saw the truck. Never realized he was coming until he'd collided with the jeep sending it spinning across the road. One minute she'd been laughing and the next she'd been staring up into the darkening sky wondering where she was and how she got there.

The doors slid open and she found herself standing in the middle of the hallway as Hannah, her husband and brothers approached her. Hannah stood with an arm locked around her husband's waist. Her face was ghostly white, and her husband looked even worse. His brother Brian stood on the other side of him, and it was clear that it was unlikely he could walk without them.

"I'm so sorry. I never even saw the . . ." She said, but Hannah merely brushed her aside saying, "Where's the doctor?"

Two nurses ran out to greet them. "You are the McFadden's? You should come right in here." She led them to the waiting area and Adam collapsed into a chair, with Brian beside him. Hannah stood where she was dressed in her shimmering blue dress. Crane stood to her left, his hands in tightly clenched fists.

"The doctor is coming right now." One of the nurses said. "Your brothers are all alive." She said.

Adam began to weep.

"Okay." He said trying to stop himself and taking in big gulps of air. "They are alive?" He asked looking up at the nurse.

"Yes. They are all alive." She said again. The other nurse shook her head at her, but she frowned at her. Adam, who was still crying didn't notice it, but Hannah did, and was about to say something when the doctor walked up to them.

"Mr. McFadden?" He asked and Adam rose shakily, wiping his eyes with the back of his hand. "I'm sorry for keeping you waiting, but I just needed to check in with your brother's doctors. Why don't you have a seat." He gestured to the chairs, and seeing Hannah and Crane, he said. "Everyone, sit down."

"What about my brothers?" Adam asked his voice full of tears, but somewhat stronger.

"Your brother Ford sprained his ankle. It was swollen pretty big, and we thought it might be broken, but the x-rays show there was no break, so we wrapped it up. He's got some bruises, but all things considered, he's in pretty good shape." Adam nodded.

"What about the others?" Brian said.

"Wait, I don't want to get their names wrong." The doctor said glancing at a paper in his hand. "Evan has a broken collarbone, and his knee is swollen. He's in x-ray right now. They are just checking the knee. He has some stitches in his forehead, and in his right hand. Apparently, he and Ford got everyone out, and that's where some of their injuries came from." The doctor looked at the paper in his hand again.

"Daniel has a broken arm, and his neck is badly sprained. He'll need to stay here. He was sitting in the passenger seat and the jeep was hit from that side. It seems he was turned around - we think trying to protect his brother. He has lots of bruises, and three broken ribs. You need to prepare yourself when you see him because he looks just awful. But he's going to be fine. He is just really banged up. He looks much worse than he actually is. He was pretty upset about his brothers, so we actually had to sedate him. It's probably for the best though, because his injuries are pretty painful."

The doctor exhaled and shifted from his left foot to his right. Hannah had been listening, trying to keep calm.

"What about Guthrie?" She asked her voice almost a whisper, and both Crane and Adam reached to hold onto her hands.

"Why don't you sit down." The doctor said.

"No, what about Guthrie?" She said her voice harsh. He glanced at the paper in his hand, but she could tell he was just stalling.

"Damn it!" She said angrily. "Tell me what happened to my son!"


	6. Chapter 6

"Guthrie took the brunt of the impact." The doctor explained gently. "He was sitting behind Daniel, and that's how Daniel's arm was broken. He put his arm out to protect Guthrie."

"Is he alive?" Adam asked his voice quiet.

"Yes. He's alive. He's in surgery. He was pretty badly injured. There are many internal injuries. We are just going to have to wait. I'm really very sorry."

"Don't say that!" Adam said his voice loud and harsh. The doctor looked up shocked. "Don't say you are sorry unless there is something to be sorry for. He's just hurt. You don't say you are sorry, unless. . . unless." He slumped back into the chair, but then drawing in a deep breath he rose and said, "Wait, forgive me. I . . . We lost our parents in an accident, and this. . ." He gestured around him. "It is all too familiar."

"Ford told us." The doctor said gently. "Don't worry about us. You just sit tight. I'll keep you updated." He hesitated. "Is there anyone we should call?"

Adam shook his head. "You've got everyone here already." Nodding his head, the doctor disappeared down the hall.

Hannah still stood trembling and Adam sat in the chair, his face turned to the wall. Crane walked over and stood at the window staring out.

"Honey," Brian said rising and putting a hand on Hannah's arm. "Sit down before you fall down." She looked up into his dark eyes and reaching up, rubbed his cheek with her hand, biting her lip to keep down tears. He led her to the chair beside Adam and she sat. A nurse came and said they would bring Ford out, and then he came through the doors on crutches. He had bruises on his face, and hesitated uncertainly seeing them. Adam rose, as though in slow motion and wrapped his arms around him kissing his cheek.

"You alright?" He asked, and unable to speak Ford only nodded. Brian and Crane had descended on him, and his crutches fell to the ground as they hugged him. Finally, Brian bent to pick up the crutches, handing them to his little brother, and Ford could see past them to where Hannah stood watching and crying.

"Hannah." He said and crutched slowly forward but she met him halfway and wrapped her arms around him, as he began to cry.

"Everyone is going to be okay." She said kissing him. "We just have to wait. It's alright." She kissed his face and led him over to a chair. They helped him sit and brought over another chair so that he could put his foot up.

They sat waiting for an eternity. Eventually, a nurse came out and told them that they had a room so that Ford could lay down, and that Evan was already there, waiting. They all went in and Evan looked even worse than Ford, so that Hannah feared seeing Daniel who apparently looked the worst of all of them. She sat on the edge of the bed holding Evan's hand and listening as he told about the crash.

"None of us saw it, well, until it was too late." Evan said. "Me and Ford didn't get knocked out and I was afraid that someone would hit us again, so we got everyone out and away from the road. The trucker came staggering out, and helped us too. We weren't sure about moving Guthrie, he looked so . . ." He stopped and began to cry, ducking his head, ashamed of his tears. Hannah rose and wrapped her arms around him and he leaned against her crying.

"Shh. You should sleep now. You must be so tired. Guthrie will be alright. You just wait and see." She kissed his forehead, and looked up at Adam who sat on the other side of Evan's bed, his hand on his little brother's shoulder. They sat with the two boys until they'd fallen asleep and then Hannah, Adam and Crane all left.

"I'll sit with them." Brian said softly. "You come get me the second. . ."

"I will." Adam said interrupting him. The two brothers stood eye to eye, and sighing Brian reached out squeezing Adam's shoulder. "He'll be okay." Adam nodded and said nothing.

The room they'd given to Evan and Ford was right next to Daniel's. Adam and Crane went in, but Hannah hung back afraid to see him so badly injured. She was overwhelmed and stood just outside the doorway.

"Honey?" Adam said stepping back out to her.

"I just . . just give me a second." She said tucking her chin to her chest and pushing down another wave of tears. But Adam, put his hand on her arm, pulling her closer to him. She tried to pull away from him, knowing his loving kindness would shatter her resolve. "No, I can't . . . just now."

He stepped back understanding, but gently ran his hand over her forehead, pushing her hair out of her eyes. "Okay."

"I'm sorry. It's just . . ." She struggled again and he nodded, waiting. "It's all of my boys." She said in a whisper. "All our boys are hurt." He said nothing more, but taking her by the hand he waited until she had regained her composure, and stepped into the room where Daniel lay.

She was glad the doctor had told her that his injuries looked worse than actually were because seeing him made her stagger back in shock. He was still sedated but his bruises and stitches looked horrible. His arm had already been put in a cast, and it grieved her to think he wouldn't be able to play his guitar for weeks.

"He'll be furious when he realizes he can't play that damn guitar." Crane said teary-eyed sitting near Daniel and brushing his bangs away from his eyes. He held onto Daniel's good hand.

"That's the truth." Adam said leaning over and kissing Daniel's forehead. He sighed looking at his brother.

"I can stay here with him for a bit." Crane said. "Don't worry Adam. Me and Brian got the rest of the boys." He looked up at his brother wondering how Adam was able to regain his strength. He'd never seen him like he had this evening - not even when their parents had died. He'd always looked at Adam as infinitely strong. He thought briefly, _if anything happens to Guthrie, Adam will never survive it,_ and then immediately hated himself for even thinking of Guthrie as lost. He glanced over at Hannah, looking improbably beautiful in her long, blue, shimmering dress. She held tightly to Adam's hand, leaning against him, and Crane thought maybe he understood how Adam had been able to regain his strength.

"Don't worry, Hannah. Your boys will be okay." Crane said thinking of how quickly she'd managed to become a part of them all. It was hard to imagine their lives without her there, and yet she and Adam had barely been married a year. She smiled at him, but it was the saddest smile he'd ever seen, and one lone tear rolled down her cheek.

***7***

Hannah had completely lost track of time. She and Adam had been sitting in the plastic chairs of the surgical waiting room for their entire lives; at least that's how it felt. She glanced around at the clock which now read 3:30; soon the sun would rise. She walked over to the window shivering from cold and seeing her reflection she winced. She hated this stupid dress. It was certainly impractical for spending hours in a hospital waiting room to find out if a child would live. She leaned her forehead against the cold window pane and closed her eyes in prayer, again.

"You're cold." She heard Adam say just behind her, and he took off his flannel shirt, wrapping it around her shoulders. He stood there in his soft blue henley and she turned toward him saying nothing as he put his arms around her. She fingered the top button of his shirt.

"Someone should tell us something." She said at last resting her head against his chest.

"Say it again." He said into her hair his head resting on the top of her head. "Please."

She sighed and said again from memory the words her grandmother had taught her. "I lift my eyes up to the hills. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of Heaven and earth . . ."

***7***

Finley Johnson stood alone watching Hannah and Adam. It was nearly 4:00 a.m. and she was exhausted. She'd kept her distance once the family had arrived but was unsure what to do. Should she wait with them? Should she leave? She feared their anger and couldn't imagine what Hannah would say to her. She reached out again and felt the small scratch the ran across her forehead. Her only injury; a miracle the paramedic had said to her. It felt much more like a curse, and turning away she walked through the double doors and out into the early morning darkness.

***7***

Brian and Crane had both come to join them. Brian stood leaning against the window and she sat between Crane and Adam. She was now dressed in a pair of hospital scrubs. One of the nurses had come to her just after four in the morning saying, "You can borrow these, if you'd like. Your dress is so beautiful, but you must be freezing."

Hannah looked down at the clothes in her hands. "Thank you so much." The nurse smiled at her, and patted her hand.

"Just don't let any of the doctor's order you around." She said with a wink. She had wanted to drop the dress into the trash can after she'd changed, but thinking of the money that Adam had struggled to save for her, she had folded it up took it out to the truck.

She sat now in one of the chairs her legs tucked under her, still wearing Adam's shirt over the scrubs she'd been given. His shirt comforted her somehow, and she reached over and held his hand in both of hers.

"I feel like I'm supposed to say something so that we'd all feel better." He said looking down at her. "It is what Dad would do." He sighed.

"He would say something like, 'McFadden's are built strong.'" Brian said.

Adam looked up at Brian. "Yeah, he would." Adam said. "I can't think of anything, except how scared I am." He turned back to Hannah. "That's why they shouldn't call me Dad. I'm nothing like him." She opened her eyes wide in surprise. His brothers were forever teasing him and calling him Dad. He took it good-naturedly but always protested. She had assumed it was because he was barely twenty-eight years old, but wondered at it now.

"The hell you aren't!" Brian protested. "Junior, you are exactly like him, and I thank God nearly every day for it. If I had been the oldest? This family would've fallen apart!" He moved closer so he stood in front of Adam. "You listening?" He said when Adam refused to look up at him.

"The name is Adam." He said meeting Brian's eyes at last. "I'll kick your ass if you call me Junior, again." Brian shook his head at him and moved back to the window. "The sun will be up soon." He said looking outside. "This day we'll know how it all turns out." Brian turned away from the window and looked at his brothers, and sister-in-law who met his gaze. "One way or the other." He sighed, fighting tears, and looked back out toward the coming dawn.


	7. Chapter 7

Dr. Merian walked down the hallway toward the waiting family. Gloria, one of the night nurses, had told all the doctors about the family's history, but she hadn't needed to tell him. He'd been there that night. He'd been in the room as they'd tried to save the father - to no avail. His injuries had been too extreme. He remembered it because it was such a horrible accident, and because it had been early in his career, and his third patient lost. Even after all this time he could still remember the first five patients he had lost, and the father of seven sons was not easily forgotten. He sighed as he saw the family - three of the sons, and it appeared one of them had married.

"Mr. McFadden?" He said and had a sudden flash of seeing that name on the father's death certificate. He shuddered. They all rose looking like you would expect a family in their situation to look. The wife clung to one of the son's hand; look small, pale, vulnerable.

"I'm Adam. I'm his . . .How's Guthrie?" He stumbled for words clearly shaking.

"Guthrie suffered some pretty significant internal injuries. I was able to repair most of it, but we had to remove his spleen. I thought we'd have to take one of his kidneys too, but we were able to repair it. He's got a hard road ahead of him. The next twenty-four hours are critical. We need to make sure that he is stable and that his injuries will heal." He could tell by their faces that they were too overcome with emotion to really absorb the details.

"Can we see him?" Asked the dark-haired brother.

"He's in recovery. You can look in on him in couple of hours. He'll be in the ICU, so only two at a time. You'll have questions later. I'm Dr. Merian, and here's my number." He took a card and a pen and wrote on the back. "That's my pager. You call me. Anytime, alright?" He reached out and squeezed Adam's arm, turning to walk away.

Adam stood frozen trying to absorb all that he'd been told. He stumbled forward and caught up to the doctor.

"Dr. Merian?" He said and the doctor turned and stopped.

"Yes?"

"Guthrie's not dead?" His voice was small and frightened. "He didn't die?"

Seeing the look on Adam's face, the doctor reached out with both hands and held Adam's arms. "No, son. He's hurt pretty bad, and has some dangerous days ahead, but I'm really hopeful." He watched as Adam's face grew pale, and fearing that he might faint, he tried to lead him to a chair. But Adam hugged the doctor to him.

"Thank you!" He said his eyes welling with tears. "Thank you. I could never . . ." He released the doctor. "I'm sorry." He said, and Dr. Merian smiled at him.

"That's alright, son. Why don't you sit down?" He gestured to the chairs.

"Yeah. I should. My name's Adam, by the way, oh, I already told you that! I can't quite . . . that's my wife Hannah over there." The doctor nodded his head at her. "Crane's the one with the beard and that's Brian."

"Nice to meet all of you." He said remembering the crowd of little boys who'd come into the hospital that night. "I'm going to tell the nurse to let you know just as soon as you can visit him." He squeezed Adam's arm again. "Go sit down." He looked up at Hannah. "Make sure he sits, okay?" She nodded her head and crossed over to her husband, putting an arm around his waist.

"Thank you, Dr. Merian." She said as tears fell. "Thank you so much." He smiled at her, and then turned to leave the room. He immediately found the nurse in charge of recovery, who happened to be Gloria.

"Let them in, as soon as he's stable." He told her and he picked up Guthrie's chart trying to hide his emotions. He exhaled loudly.

"You alright?" She said looking up at him surprised.

"I was there that night." He said looking down at Guthrie. "When they brought in their parents. I assisted with the father."

"Oh!" She looked up at him in surprise. "I didn't know you'd been here that long." She said studying him. "Why don't you get some coffee. Kelly just made a fresh pot."

"Yeah. Call me if anything changes. Anything." His voice was serious.

***7***

They stood frozen watching Dr. Merian disappear down the hallway. Adam felt as if he couldn't even breathe. He turned toward Hannah and his brothers who all stood completely still. He looked down at Hannah beside him just in time to see her start to sway. "Brian!" He said as he reached out to catch her, and Brian who had been standing behind her, caught her in his arms as she fainted. He lifted her easily and set her down in the low couch that sat under the window. A nurse had come running in.

"Put her feet up." The nurse said kneeling beside Hannah and taking her pulse. "How any of you are standing is beyond me! One of you get her a some water." Crane disappeared immediately.

Hannah stirred and seeing the nurse she said, "Wh. . wha... what happened?"

"You fainted. Don't get up." She said as Hannah started to rise.

"Did I dream it? Did the doctor say, he'll be okay?" She asked the nurse, holding tightly to her arm.

"It wasn't a dream." The nurse said gently. She patted Hannah's arm. "You stay put for at least twenty minutes. And then you need to rest. All of you." She looked behind her to the husband and brothers gathered around. "It will be at least three hours before you can see him. Why don't you take the other ones home, and get some rest." She rose and smiled at all of them.

Adam knelt beside Hannah. "He's okay?" She asked again, and unable to speak, Adam simply nodded his head. The wave of tears that Hannah had been fighting since picking up the phone hours and hours ago washed toward her, and she had no strength left to fight it. She wept as sitting beside her, Adam pulled her into his arms. She looked up and could see Brian and Crane standing side-by-side, crying too, and gesturing, drew them toward her so that they all wept huddled on the tiny couch together.

***7***

Daniel McFadden awoke to see his brother, Crane squashed into the chair beside his bed. He looked terrible. His hair was a mess and he was hunched so uncomfortably that Daniel could hardly believe he was asleep. He tried to sit up, but was met with terrible pain, so instead remained still.

"Crane." He said his voice scratchy. Crane's eyes opened immediately and he bolted upright. Daniel could have laughed seeing the imprint of the arm of the chair stamped into Crane's cheek.

"You okay?" He asked rubbing his face.

"How's everyone else?" Daniel said.

"Everyone's okay. Finley walked away from it. They say she just got a scratch. Brian took Ford and Evan home. Ford just has a sprained ankle. Evan has a broken collarbone, but he's doing okay. You and Guthrie got the worst of it." He said sitting down beside Daniel.

"Guthrie is okay?" Daniel asked nervously.

"He's been in pretty bad shape. He was in surgery for a really long time. He's in the ICU now, but everyone is really hopeful." Crane said.

"I tried to . . . but I wasn't fast enough." Daniel said tears pooling in his brown eyes. "He's still so little, you know? I wanted to make sure that nothing . . .I shouldn't have let her drive."

"Hey, Danny, c'mon man. It was an accident. That truck should've stopped and it didn't. It wasn't her fault, and it isn't yours either." He reached for Daniel's hand as he cried. "You need anything? Are you hungry? How's the pain?" Crane asked looking at Daniel's pale skin and dark rimmed eyes.

"It hurts pretty good." Daniel admitted. "Do you think maybe you could get a nurse or something?" His voice was small and he suddenly seemed much younger than eighteen.

"Sure, buddy." Crane said. "I'll be right back."

***7***

The very first thing Guthrie saw when he opened his eyes in the bright light, was Hannah's face, and looking next to her, he could see Adam. In the first few seconds he felt nothing at all - no pain, but then it came crashing in on him, and he couldn't think of one inch of him that didn't hurt.

"Han . . ." was all he could manage looking up into her brown eyes.

"Guthrie!" She said crying. "It's okay, cowboy. We're right here."

"Hey, Guth!" Adam said and they both leaned forward kissing him. They were both crying which scared him.

"Ddd . . ." He struggled to speak to them.

"Shhh." Hannah said gently touching his face. "We can talk later. You need to rest, buddy."

"I . . . I . . ." He wanted to tell them something, but then suddenly he couldn't remember what it was. He began to cry, frustrated and filled with agonizing pain. "Hurtss." He mumbled.

"Okay, buddy. Okay. I'll fix it, buddy." Adam said. "I'll get the doctor." He kissed him again and his face disappeared.

Guthrie looked up into Hannah's face, and wanted nothing more than to crawl into her lap, like he was a baby and rest against her shoulder. "Han . . .nah" He managed.

"I'm right here, Guth. I'm not leaving." She said. She wiped her face with her hand as more tears fell. "I'm right here."

"Love," He closed his eyes against the pain, "you." He gasped out relieved to have said it at last. He'd been thinking it for months and months now, but had never been brave enough to tell her. He often brought her flowers he picked and tried to be quick to do whatever she asked, hoping that would show her how he felt. He knew he ought to actually just tell her, but always chickened out. It was one of his only thoughts as the truck had crashed into them. They had gone spinning and swirling across the road, and he had thought that it was a shame that he'd never once told Hannah how much he loved her.

"I love you too, baby." She said kissing his forehead. It was the last thing he heard before he lost consciousness again.

***7***

The next time Daniel awoke, he was relieved to find he wasn't immediately hit with unending pain. He actually felt, pretty okay. He looked over to his right, and was surprised to see Adam standing there. He had his back to him, looking out the window.

"Hey, Dad." Daniel said with a half-hearted grin.

"Danny!" Adam said turning and smiling. He crossed over to Daniel's bed and kissed him on both sides of his face.

"Knock it off." Daniel said good-naturedly.

"You call me Dad and I'm gonna kiss you! Every time." He smiled at his brother sitting on the edge of his bed. "How you feeling?"

"Better, I think." He glanced down. "Ah, hell! I broke my arm?"

"Yeah. Sorry buddy. Six weeks in that thing." Adam smiled. Daniel had to be feeling better if he'd finally noticed his arm.

"Well, there goes that gig! Dang it! The boys will be disappointed." Daniel sighed.

"I don't know if you should be complaining, Danny. You can still sing, and you aren't dead." Adam grinned at him.

"You've got a point." He sighed. "How's Guthrie?"

"He's holding his own. He's still in ICU. Hannah's with him. We can't get her to leave the hospital. She was sitting with you earlier."

"I'm glad she married you Adam." Daniel said. "I think she's crazy, but I'm awful glad for it."

"Me too." Adam said clearing his throat. He rose and said, "You thirsty? Hungry? The doctor said you probably would be."

"Thirsty." Daniel said. "You know what I'd love more than anything? Those milkshakes you used to make us. Remember? Friday night family parties - pizza, milkshakes and all those stupid old movies. That was fun."

"That was a long time ago." Adam said laughing.

"How'd you do it?" Daniel asked suddenly serious. "You were younger than I am now. There's no way I could do it! No way!"

"Sure you could." Adam said. "It wasn't that big of a deal . . ."

"The hell it wasn't it! They would've split us all up for sure. Adam, you . . ."

"Knock it off, Daniel." Adam said clearly embarrassed. "I'm gonna see if I can't get you a milkshake, okay, partner. You just wait here."

***7***

Daniel was disappointedly sipping a glass of orange juice when Hannah came in the doorway. After she'd kissed and hugged him, cried, and then kissed and hugged him some more, she sat down on the bed beside him.

"When's the last time you ate?" He asked her.

"Oh, don't you start!" She said.

"Ah, so I'm not the only one who's noticed." He said.

"They wouldn't let you have a milkshake?" She asked changing the subject.

"No, they said I have to see if I can keep food down first. Seems to me, a milkshake would be a better test."

"Brian's gonna smuggle you one." She said with a grin. "Don't ever tell that man, no! He considers it an open invitation to do whatever you don't want him to."

"He was born stubborn. Mom said that he used to try to cram square pegs into round holes, and when she showed him that they round pegs should go into round holes, he told her, 'Aw, Mama. Anyone can do that!'"

Hannah laughed. "Sounds about right."

"Course, he learned his stubbornness from Adam." Daniel said.

"I noticed that." She adjusted the blankets around him. "You feeling alright."

"Yeah, just tired, I guess." He said.

"Well, they are talking about letting you go home tomorrow." She said. "So that's good."

"How's Guthrie?" He asked her, and regretted it when he saw a wave of pain come across her face.

"He's still in ICU. He's in a lot of pain, so they are keeping him sedated. He'll be okay." She said.

"And how are you?" He asked her.

"I'm . . ." She brushed tears out of her eyes and she turned her face away. She was silent a minute and then swallowing down her tears she said, "I'm really happy that you are alright, Daniel. I love you, you know that. I love all you boys." She smiled at him, kissing his forehead. "Now, go to sleep and get some rest. I'll stay right here awhile."

He closed his eyes drifting back to sleep holding onto her hand.


	8. Chapter 8

Peter Henkins found Adam sitting alone in the waiting area, sipping a cup of coffee.

"Peter!" Adam said surprised rising and shaking his hand.

"Adam!" Peter shook hands with him and then they both sat down. "You look better than I expected."

"Well, it's all for show." Adam said running a hand over his face. "You hungry? Marie brought a pile of food from the cafe. Daniel thinks they kept him an extra day just for the food."

"Nah, I'm alright. I just came by to let you know that Will sent over Billy Jr. and his cousin, Allen. They are camped out at your place and taking care of things. You fellas don't need to worry about anything."

"Oh! Thank you! You tell Will thank you for me?" Adam said relieved.

"Actually, he said to tell you thanks. Billy Jr.'s lazy as the day is long, but when he heard about Daniel being hurt he _volunteered _to help! I went over there that first afternoon and fed the lambs, and the chickens. And I got to tell you that your milk cow was happy to see me! I've never seen a cow smile before, but I swear she did after I was done milking her! The boys have taken over now. We tried to catch Brian when he was home, but he's pretty busy with Ford and Evan." Peter said.

"I am grateful. It wasn't even until yesterday, that I even thought about the ranch. That's never happened before!" Adam confessed. "I was just sitting here thinking how I needed to get home, and check on things, but I don't like to leave Guthrie. And Hannah, won't so much as step outside the hospital." He sighed. "Plus we've only got the truck now."

"Oh, that's the other thing. Paul's coming later with that old jeep of his. It isn't as nice as yours was, but he hasn't been using it, and said you could borrow it, until your jeep gets fixed." Peter said.

"I don't think our jeep can be fixed." Adam sighed. "Insurance will take care of things, I guess. I probably should call somebody."

"Don't worry about it just now. Susan's already been talking to Mr. Mason at the agency for you. She got the information from Brian yesterday. You just worry about your boys and that pretty little wife of yours, alright. We can take care of the rest. Paul said he'll leave the key at the nurse's station. He didn't want you to wait around for him." Peter rose and shook Adam's hand again.

"I can't even begin to thank you." Adam said overwhelmed with gratitude.

"Well, you boys belong to all of us. You tell Hannah we're all praying for Guthrie, and if there's anything you need, you just let us know."

"I will. Thanks." Adam said again feeling that the word "thanks" was much too small to express how he felt.

He went upstairs and checked on Daniel who, despite protests that he was fine and should be allowed to go home, had fallen asleep again. He tucked the covers around him, and standing by his bed, he travelled backwards in his mind's eye, remembering all the nights he'd tucked him into bed. He bent over and kissed his cheek, just as he had when he was little. Sighing he turned and went back down the hall, and through the doors into ICU.

"Hello, Gloria." He said to the night nurse, who'd just come on shift. "They brought in some really good food from the cafe."

"I saw it! I'm sorry now I had dinner with my family." She smiled at him.

"How's he doing?" Adam asked surprised at how quickly he'd come to know the staff and routines of the hospital. It was hard to believe how much his life had changed in just three days.

"His fever's up. Hannah's in there with him. Dr. Merian should be by in about an hour." She said.

He found Hannah curled in ball asleep in a chair. She looked smaller even than Guthrie. Brian had brought her clothes from home and she wore her jeans and a pink henley. He tucked a blanket around her, gently so as not to wake her. He turned toward his baby brother who was badly bruised and looked so pale. He reached a hand out and gently laid it on Guthrie's forehead. He felt hot.

"Hey there, buckaroo," Adam whispered. "How you doing, pal?" He leaned over and kissed his forehead. "You need to get better, buddy. We all are waiting." He sat down in the chair next to his brother's bed, and stretched his neck, weary. From where he sat, he could see both Guthrie and Hannah. He watched them both as they slept, and all the while, he silently prayed.

***7***

Finley Johnson paced anxiously. She'd come to the hospital three times, but didn't have the nerve to ask to see Hannah. She had heard that Guthrie was out of surgery and recovering, so she finally felt brave enough. She was standing near the window, when Hannah came into the waiting room. She looked tired and thin.

"Finley!" Hannah said and immediately embraced her. Finley stepped back, surprised.

"I thought you'd be angry." She said trembling.

"Why would I be angry?" Hannah asked. "I wanted to call you, but I figured you had to leave and get to that new job of yours, and I can't keep time straight these days."

"I'm so sorry." She said her eyes filling with tears. "You can't know, how sorry I am. Adam must . . ." She looked down ashamed.

"It was an accident, Finley. Accidents happen. That truck should've stopped but it didn't. I'm glad that you are alright." Hannah said and Finley sank into a chair.

"I've been such a jerk." She said suddenly, and Hannah sat down surprised. "I couldn't believe you just gave up on everything we talked about! I thought I'd come here and show you what success was. I'd show off my fancy job, and clothes and stupid Ph.D. I thought I could prove to you, how much smarter I was."

"Finely . . ." Hannah began but didn't know what to say.

"And I came here, and was so rude. Making all those comments and acting like I was better than you - that my choices were better. But the thing is I've got this beautiful new condo, and these fancy clothes, but I'm all alone." Finley said. "No one, looks at me the way Adam looks at you, and not just him. Those boys, Hannah, their eyes follow you wherever you go. Every one of them! Those boys love you. When I think of Guthrie carrying in that tray - he so wanted to please you. I don't have anyone, not anyone, who feels that way about me."

"You've accomplished so much, Finley. You should be proud of that." Hannah said. "I never planned to quit school. I just," She sighed trying to find a way to express it. "Sometimes there's a turn in the road, you know? You just have to follow it to wherever it leads. It led me here." Hannah said. "It led me home."

Finley said nothing but just nodded. Hannah smiled at her, and wrapped her arms around her friend. "I'm so glad you came to see me, Finley. Guthrie is going to be okay, all my boys are going to be fine." Finley returned the hug, and then sitting back wiped her eyes.

"I . . . uh," She cleared her throat. "I did something that I'm not sure you'll like, but I was given a signing bonus at my new job, and I used it to buy this ridiculous sports car. Anyway, I took it back to the dealer, and explained that I wanted to replace your jeep."

"Oh, we've got insurance and I'm sure . . ." Hannah said shocked.

"Good, you can use that money for Guthrie to go to college or cover medical expenses." Finley interrupted. "The owner of the dealership wanted to help too, when I explained things, so he is going to cover half the cost himself." Hannah's eyes opened wide with surprise.

"Here's his card. I wasn't sure if you wanted the same model or something else, so he said when the time was right to call him. I gave him your number too, so if you don't ever call, he will." Finley handed a card to Hannah. "You won't lose it, will you?"

"No. I'll put it somewhere safe." Hannah said her voice thick with tears. "You didn't have to . . ."

"They wouldn't have been in that jeep or on that road if I hadn't come." Finley said.

"None of us blame you." Hannah said. "No one is angry."

"Maybe you did step back in time, coming here. People aren't . . .you found good people, Hannah."

"I did." Hannah agreed.

"You found the real thing. I sure hope someday . . ." But she couldn't even finish the thought.

"You will." Hannah smiled. "And you be sure to invite me to the wedding." She grinned at Finley.

"I have to be at work tomorrow, but I'll call you, okay. Please, tell Adam, how sorry I am."

"There's no need for that." Hannah said and Finley rose.

"I was such a fool, Hannah. I was so critical and judgemental. I had no idea." She sighed. "You're the successful one." She wrapped her arms around Hannah.

"Your time will come." Hannah said and Finley nodded her head releasing Hannah.

"I'll follow the road ahead, wherever it leads." Finley said.

"I hope it leads you home." Hannah said, and Finley turned to go.

"I'll call you." She said. "You let me know if there's anything I can do."

***7***

She found Adam in the ICU waiting room..

"Hey!" He said. "They kicked me out. They said they needed to run some tests."

She crossed to him, and he pulled her down and onto to his lap.

"You eat today?" He asked her.

"I think so." She said.

"You think so?"

"No, I did. Marie made me. I remember now." She rested her head against his shoulder. "Did you see Brian? He was here about an hour or two ago."

"Yeah. The boys are doing better. He'll pick Daniel up in the morning." Adam said. "Peter came by. Will sent Billy Jr. and his cousin over to the ranch. They are taking care of everything."

"This is such a good town." Hannah said.

"Paul's loaning us his old jeep. He left the keys with Karen." He sighed and rested his head against the back of the chair.

"I'll have to tell you about Finley. She came by to see me." Hannah said closing her eyes. "I'm too tired just now."

"Go to sleep, baby. I'll wake you if there's any need." He said kissing her cheek. He sat with her in his arms thinking he ought to move her to the fold out couch, but not really wanting to be that far from her. Being near her comforted him somehow. It was nearly an hour later that he finally gently laid her down on the couch, covering her with a blanket. Crane came in, a few minutes later. He glanced at Hannah asleep, and they stepped out into the hall so as not to wake her.

"You should eat." Crane said after Adam had filled him in on Guthrie's day.

"I'm not. . ."Adam began.

"Come on. I'll walk you to the cafeteria. Just a quick bite." Crane said his arm around Adam's shoulders.

"Gloria, Hannah's asleep in the waiting room. I'm gonna eat something real quick. If she wakes . . ." He said.

"I'll keep an eye on her." Gloria interrupted. "Don't worry."

***7***

They had just started to eat when Hannah walked into the cafeteria.

"Hannah." Crane said hugging her. "It feels like ages since I've seen you."

She hugged him but said nothing. Adam looked at her, and knowing her well he became immediately filled with fear.

"What is it?" He asked dreading the answer.

"Let's . . ." She said looking around. "There's too many people here." She rose and they followed her out into the hallway.

"Hannah?" Adam asked sitting down on a nearby bench.

"He's in surgery. He's not doing real well." She said, her voice choked by tears. "Dr. Merian thinks he's going to have to remove his kidney."


	9. Chapter 9

Daniel set the phone down gently. He'd wanted to slam it down. He'd wanted to throw it against the wall. Instead, he'd set it down extra gently. He turned to see Brian just coming into the room with Ford crutching slowly behind him.

"Was that the phone?" Brian asked.

"Yeah." Daniel said. "It was Crane."

Brian stepped closer to Daniel. His younger brother still looked so pale and weak. He hated that everywhere he turned his eyes rested on one of his brothers hurt. But Daniel also looked frightened. He reached out putting a hand on his arm.

"Hey,Dan'l, what is it?" He asked fear rising.

"It's Guthrie." Daniel told them.

***7***

Adam found Hannah huddled on the floor weeping. She had said she would be right back nearly an hour ago. He'd watch her walk slowly away, and his heart ached not only with worry over Guthrie, but anguish over her; his sweetheart, so badly wounded.

He hadn't really expected her to say yes. He had never expected her to stay. He'd always figured he would be forever alone, but she _had _ said yes and she _had_ stayed. He wondered at it every day. He couldn't for the life of him reckon how he'd earned such goodness. It wasn't just that she was so damn beautiful that his heart would hit double time just seeing her. And it wasn't just that her kisses made him forget the world around him. It was deeper than that. She was his soul - not soulmate, but his actual soul. She was a part of him so long hidden and buried so deep that he'd almost forgotten it existed; until he'd seen her smile.

He'd resigned himself to a solitary life. It had been a hard fought battle for him. He'd had to lay his dreams of love and marriage to rest alongside his personal hopes and dreams. He'd buried it all down deep just as he had buried his parents. It took some time for him to accept it, but after that he had felt better; less tormented by the "if onlys". If only that trucker had decided to sleep. . . If only his father had left earlier. . . If only the surgeon had been able to save his father. . . If only . . . If only . . . If only.

His life developed a steady pattern; morning chores, make lunches, breakfast, send them to school, work, listen to their stories of school, work, dinner, chores, homework, bedtime, work, sleep. And always ever mindful of his father's hopes and dreams for Circle Bar Seven. Of course his father's ranch had been Circle Bar M back then. It was in the second year that he and Brian had changed it pushed by a strong need to make it their own too.

He would sometimes stand on a rise of hill seeing the brown hills around him thinking, "See, this is enough." But he knew it was a lie even then, and a longing to be standing in that exact spot with his arm around someone was a wound so deep that he knew it would never, ever heal.

But it had. He could remember the pain of those days piled on top of one another like dead leaves, but almost the instant she had said yes, the pain was gone; the ache was gone. The part of him buried and decaying in a grave had been resurrected.

Hannah.

She healed him. He felt joy again - real joy. He felt hope again. Not long after they'd married he'd stood on the rise of that hill his arm around her and he'd cried. At first he'd tried to hide it, tilting his hat low over his eyes, but he hadn't fooled her. She said nothing but had moved to stand in front of him, her arms wrapped tight around him. He'd buried his head in her shoulder then, his hat falling to the ground - his father's hat falling to the ground like a weight.

His tears had subsided then, and he'd opened his mouth to explain but she'd stopped him with kisses. He'd lifted her up then and carried her over to a grove of trees, and lay with her in the grass; their heartbeats synced in a rhythm so powerful it could bring the dead to life. And it had.

He'd been resurrected.

And now, his soul lay on the floor of the hospital bathroom weeping. One of the nurses, Anna, had come to him.

"Adam, she's in the ladies room. Go. Now." She had said to him. He had hesitated at the door, but saw just behind him, Anna putting up a sign that said, "Out of order".

He could hear her, as soon as he'd stepped inside, her sobs echoing off the cold steel. She was curled in a ball; devastated; broken. Each sob hit him like a bullet from a gun and he ached to be able to say something that would comfort her, but he was filled with the same grief; the same fear.

_"I'm going to do everything I can." Dr. Merian had said seriously. "I won't lie to you, this is serious. But he's a fighter. We've seen that already. If he survives the surgery, the next forty-eight hours will be critical." He'd looked at their faces. "There's still hope. I just want you to understand. You need to prepare yourself." _

_They nodded their heads, unable to speak. He'd left them and Crane had collapsed sobbing. Adam had been frozen, unable to think, unable to speak, unable to breathe. But Hannah had gone to Crane and rocked him in her arms whispering into his ear, her head close to his. He'd watched her amazed that God had sent her to him; to them. _

"Honey," He said kneeling beside her, his voice broken. She lay sobbing still lost in grief. He had lifted her then, pulling her into his arms and only then did she acknowledge him, clinging so tightly to him, he had bruises later.

"Adam!" She sobbed.

"Shh," He whispered. "Easy, now. Guthrie's strong." He felt wholly inadequate to comfort her. What could he possibly say? "And he'd do anything for you, girl. He'd get better just to please you. That boy," He struggled to speak, "that boy loves you so." He kept his arms tight around her. "Hannah, it will be okay, baby. I promise." But he knew, better than anyone, not every promise can be kept not matter how badly you long to keep them.


	10. Chapter 10

Brian McFadden sighed as he looked around the small waiting room. They'd completely taken over. It was one of the things that used to embarrass him as a kid - all of them trooping in somewhere, and everyone staring. He felt bad for anyone else who had to be in the waiting room, and not just because he understood all too well the helpless feeling of waiting and waiting and waiting for a loved one, but also because he and his brothers were a lot to take in.

It pained him greatly to see everyone so badly injured and he didn't just mean the injuries that could be seen. It wasn't just Daniel, Evan, Ford and Guthrie who were hurt. He glanced down at Hannah. She sat on the couch with Ford leaning on her shoulder. If it were a typical evening and this was their living room and not the hospital, it would be Guthrie sitting beside her. He was always near her, and had been since the very first day that Adam had brought her home. She was kind and loving to all his brothers, and every single one of them looked to her for comfort. It had been difficult for him to accept at first; it was a role that he and Adam had inherited the day their parents died. But after a time he had not only accepted it, he'd come to turn to her himself. Looking at her now, filled him with shock. It seemed impossible that she could have lost so much weight in just a few days, but she was so small. The clothes that he'd brought her, hung on her. Small to begin with, she had shrunk down even smaller, but hardest to see was the pained and fearful look in her eyes. She was normally bright, joyful, and full of hope, but looking at her now reminded Brian of a wounded bird.

Ford held onto her hand with both of his, and rested his head against her shoulder. His crutches were leaning against the side of the couch as if his fading bruises weren't reminders enough of what his little brother had suffered. Both Evan and Ford awoke with nightmares since the accident. They had bravely pulled their brothers, and a dazed Finley free of the wreck. He could not imagine the horror they had faced; their brothers broken and bleeding. The sight of Guthrie and Daniel both horribly injured haunted them.

Evan sat awkwardly, his arm held out at an angle to help his collar bone heal. He sat across from Ford and Hannah, and Brian recognized a look of helpless anger on Evan's face. Anger was much easier to deal with than fear and pain. It was the path that Brian himself most often took when faced with difficulty.

Crane and Adam stood at opposite ends of the window staring out - bookends. Crane moved to sit beside Daniel who still looked horrible, and sat leaning back against the chair, his eyes on the ceiling. When Crane moved to sit beside him, Daniel shifted almost imperceptibly, leaning against his older brother. Brian sighed. Crane was a brother you could count on when things were tough. He was good at looking after them. He remembered Crane, all of fourteen years old, studying a book entitled, _Modern Ranching_; determined to make his father's dreams come true.

He moved to stand beside Adam. He sighed feeling so unbelievably tired. He was weary. Raising his brothers had meant many days and nights of waiting and hoping, but this was different. Sprained ankles, fevers, chickenpox, flu, broken hearts, were nothing compared to the possibility of . . .he couldn't even let the thought register in his mind.

Guthrie was their baby - his and Adam's. A bizarre and awkward concept at best, but true nonetheless. From the day he was born, Guthrie had loved Adam. Their mother had often handed him over saying, "He loves you, Junior. I can't explain it! It's even worse than Crane and Daniel!" She said laughing. "I think he prefers you to me!" Later, when she was gone, they were both grateful that Adam could comfort the toddler. It made things easier that he loved Adam so.

They had taught him to ride a horse, write his name, tie his shoes, and recently, how to tie a tie. They had wiped his nose, wiped his bottom, read to him, fed him, washed him, held him as wept, tickled him 'til he'd begged them to stop, and kissed him goodnight. He'd slept in their room, plagued by nightmares until Hannah entered his life, and he had slept peacefully at last. Brian couldn't imagine any part of fatherhood he hadn't already experienced, and now he could add to his list the horrible sinking fear that your child would be gone forever. He shuddered and looked around at his brothers again, his eyes resting on Hannah who met his gaze and gave him a sad smile. He wanted to do something to make things better, but knew there was nothing to be done.

"You hanging in?" He asked Adam who kept his gaze on something in the far distance.

"Remember that time, I got pneumonia?" Adam said softly.

"Geez! I forgot about that. You were so sick. Mom was beside herself. She sent me to the Tops to get dad, and I must have been, what, seven? She never would have let me ride that far alone. The second Dad saw me, he knew something bad had happened."

"I didn't know that. She sent you out?" Adam said surprised.

"Yeah." She was so scared. "We rode back together, and I've never, ever ridden that fast since. Dad took those hills - I don't know how we didn't tumble over! I had to remind myself that you were sick because it was so fun to ride that fast!"

"I remember I woke up in the hospital and I felt so sick. Mom was asleep in the chair next to me - in fact seeing Hannah sleeping in Guthrie's room reminded me of it, but Dad was standing at the window, and I could hear him crying. It's the only time I ever remember him crying - beside that time that Mom slid down the side of that cliff." Adam looked at Brian who nodded his head encouragingly.

"He was crying really hard, and I wanted to say something and go to him, but Mom woke up and went to him."

"What did she say?" Brian said curious for this window into his parent's life. "Do you remember?"

"I remember pieces of it. She put her arms around him and he cried even harder saying, 'We can't lose our boy.' I remember that because it scared me so. It took me a minute but soon as I realized he meant me, I was terrified. And she said, 'Everything's gonna be okay, Adam. We can make it through, no matter what.' They stood together like that a really long time. He said, 'I'm so scared, Katie Girl.' I remember that too - the first time I ever called Hannah 'Girl' I did it without even thinking, but then I remembered how he always called her that. It was like a habit that I somehow inherited. I dunno. And then she said, 'I'm scared too, Adam. I've never been so scared in all my life.'" Adam sighed. "I don't know. I watched it happening but never really understood it. I knew I was sick, and all, but couldn't really understand why that would make him weep so, and make them both so afraid. I understand it now." He met Brian's eyes, and he turned to his family who had all been listening.

"You know the only other thing I remember?" He asked turning to Hannah who looked up at him with dull, fearful eyes. She shook her head at him.

"Mom began to say over and over again Psalm 121." His eyes locked on hers, which filled with tears.

"Which one is that?" Daniel asked.

Softly, Hannah said, "I lift my eyes up to the mountains. Where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the Maker of heaven and earth." Her voice broke then and she could no longer speak. Ford put his arms around her, and she kissed the top of his head before resting her cheek against his blond hair. "You boys should sing something." She said at last.

"That's a good idea, Sis." Brian said surprising her as he crossed the room to kiss her. Brian had not been quick to accept her, but had recently taken to calling her Sis which had filled her heart with so much love and happiness the first time he'd done it, she'd had to stop herself from crying knowing it would embarrass him.

Their voices were soft at first, but grew strength together. They sang an old song that their mother had often sung to them.

The water is wide

I can't cross over

And neither have

I wings to fly

Give me a boat

That can carry two

and both shall row

My love and I.

They sang the verse they way she did though, changing it to:

Give me a boat that can carry nine

And all shall row, my loves and I.

She had changed the words, when Ford had indignantly pointed out that two was much too small a number to describe their household. After that Ford had called it his song. "Sing my song, Mama!" He would say and laughing she always complied.

Brian rested in the song's melancholy harmonies. Music tied them to their past. It was part of who their were collectively - they had no tv when they were very young, and later when they did have one it was black and white and got three channels. They had created their own entertainment - music. His father would play his guitar and his mother would start them all singing. He wasn't a man to appreciate the arts, but music spoke to him. The songs of his parents were like his own pulse. He glanced up and saw in the distance that a few nurses had paused in their work, leaning against the counter listening to the music. They sang every song they could remember from their childhood as the dark hours dragged on and on. When they had stopped at last he was surprised to discover that they all sat, together, their chairs in a rough circle. Adam had moved to sit beside Hannah who rested against his shoulder.

He glanced around the circle which was painfully incomplete without Guthrie and his high, not yet changed, sweet voice joining in, but still he felt a deep comfort and strengthening from the Brotherhood - he included Hannah in that inner circle now. He reached out and took hold of Adam's hand - the one that held Hannah's in his; not the free one - he squeezed both their hands in his and said, "We can make it through; no matter what." And Adam nodded as the words spoken by their mother reverberated off the walls and Brian could imagine them floating up and up until they settled back in his mother's heart as she gazed down on her beloved sons.


	11. Chapter 11

Hannah looked up from where she sat beside Guthrie's bed, to see Adam, Brian and Crane all standing in the doorway. She and Adam had been at Guthrie's side since he'd been returned to his room after surgery. Adam had disappeared just a few minutes earlier saying he would get her some coffee. He had no coffee in his hand.

"Adam . . ." She began, ready to argue with him, again. "I can't just . . ."

"Listen, Dr. Merian said he won't be awake until tomorrow." Adam said. "You haven't left this building in over a week! You haven't left this damn hallway in days and days."

"Adam, please don't . . ." She began and Crane watched Adam shrink back, too wounded himself to help her. Crane sighed and stepped closer to his sister-in-law.

"Hannah, there's an inn just down the street. Kelly, the emergency room nurse, her cousin

runs it. They have a room for us. It's three blocks from here. You can walk it in four minutes. No one is asking you to go all the way back home." He looked at her tear-stained face. "Honey, you go and lay down in a bed. You remember how, right? Brian and I will stay."

She was silent; exhausted and broken. She leaned forward and Crane pulled her into a hug, surprised at how small she'd become. "I'll run and get you, myself, if he wakes up. Please, Hannah."

Still in his arms she nodded and turned to leave. Passing Brian, she reached out and hugged him.

"Don't worry honey," He said into her hair. "Guthrie will get better. He'd do it just to make you happy." Holding her away from himself, he looked her straight in the eye and said, "All boys love their mamas."

Her eyes filled again with tears and unable to speak she only nodded, and bent over Guthrie's sleeping form, kissing his forehead. Turning away she reached for Adam's hand and they walked together down the hall, down the elevator and out into the early morning chill. She shivered, as they hesitated and she looked backwards trying to determine which window was Guthrie's.

"Hannah," Adam said gently and pulling her by the hand, he led them both away from where their child lay.

Kelly's cousin, Angie, was a sweet middle-aged lady who fussed and clucked at them as she took them to their room telling them they could consider it their home until Guthrie was well. Adam closed the door as Hannah sat down on the small couch in the room. He turned and she looked up at him -really seeing him for the first time in days. He always looked out of sorts without his hat, and his eyes were dull and rimmed with red. He looked like a man bereft and she felt guilty for not paying more attention to him. Guthrie was dear to all of them; everyone's baby. But he'd been close to Adam even before their parent's death. He told her stories of how even as an infant, Guthrie had always wanted Adam.

Adam sank down on the bed and they sat across from each other in silence. The room seemed strangely quiet and Hannah realized she'd become accustomed to the sounds of the hospital.

"Hungry?" He asked.

"No." She said. He said nothing and she studied him silently. After a time she spoke softly, "I loved you right from the first time I saw you. You looked so dependable, strong. And I knew you were a good man - nothing like my father. And I remember, right after we got married - maybe a month, I don't know but Guthrie was upset about something. I can't remember what anymore, but you were with him. He was sitting in the armchair with you and you had your arms around him. I could see in his eyes that you comforted him. He looked so safe nestled there." She smiled at the memory. Adam's head bent low next to Guthrie's, as he spoke encouraging words to his baby brother. "I remember thinking how much I wished I'd had a father who loved me like that."

Adam said nothing for a long time and she watched as he fought down tears. Finally he spoke.

"I was so ticked off when she told us she was gonna have another baby." He said. Hannah looked up at him surprised. "I mean, there were already six of us, which was embarrassing enough, but I was fifteen years old. I was absolutely mortified. It was bad enough that they were always kissing and holding hands, but a baby! And I was such a brat about it. God, Mom was so patient." He sighed. "And then, he always wanted to be with me. Even when he was tiny! Do you think its possible God made him that way because of what was going to happen later?"

She looked up at him. "Maybe or maybe he just loved you because you are such a good brother."

"But I wasn't. Not then. I just wanted to leave. I couldn't wait to leave." He sat with his chin down.

She crossed the room and sat beside him. "You were seventeen."

"Yeah." He exhaled and looked around the room. "I'm so tired. Aren't you tired?"

Hannah nodded her head waiting.

"I'm so scared." He confessed at last. "McFaddens are tough, Hannah. That is true. But I've survived enough, don't you think? He wouldn't take our . . .He wouldn't take Guthrie from us, would He? That boy . . ." He stopped unable to speak and Hannah wrapped her arms around him. "I just want him to be okay. I can't lose him. I can't lose him." He said sobbing.

Hannah said nothing. No words would comfort him. She held him in her arms until weary he lay back and fell asleep. She curled next to him, her arms around him, and they slept at last.

***7***

Daniel moved stiffly as he walked back into the living room. The doctor had been right - broken ribs were the worst of it.

"You can sit and you can stand. You can lay down flat but you won't feel comfortable no matter what you do." The doctor had said. He handed a glass of water to Evan who held it awkwardly, trying to maneuver without bumping anything with his cast.

"Damn it. This sucks." Evan said.

"You got that right." Daniel said lowering himself into a chair but finding no relief, he rose up again.

"Well, I see you lazy-asses are still sitting around." Billy Jr. Said coming in the front door.

"Shut up, Billy!" Evan said good naturedly.

"Make me!" Billy laughed. "I put a pot roast my mom made in your fridge. So Guthrie doing okay?"

"He's out of surgery but they've got him sedated. The pain would be too much right now." Daniel said.

"They took his kidney." Ford said

"Don't you need your kidney?" Billy asked concerned.

"You got two, dummy. It's a good thing you didn't go off to school. How did you pass biology?"

"I took it twice." He explained. "The little brat's gonna be okay, right?"

"He's a tough kid. They took his spleen too so it will be hard for him to fight infection. That's what they're really worried about. It's easy to get an infection when you've had surgery."

"Well," Billy hesitated unsure what to say. "You jerks need me to do anything else? Wipe your noses?"

"Nah, man." Daniel said. "Thanks."

"See you in the morning." He said as he turned and walked out the door.

"I wish they'd call." Ford said with a sigh.

"Me too." Daniel said.

***7***

"Bri?" Guthrie squinted in the bright light. He could see his brother hovering near him.

"Hey partner!" Brian fairly shouted bending near Guthrie. "Hey!" Brian could think of nothing else to say as he gazed into Guthries wide, bright eyes. At first he tried to fight the tears but gave up almost immediately. It was like fighting gravity.

"Guthrie!" Crane said. "You feel okay, pal?"

"I feel like I got hit by a truck." Guthrie said with a grin. And both Brian and Crane laughed and cried all at once. Brian had never been as happy as he was in that moment. He kissed his baby brother, and the nurse who came to check on Guthrie and he kissed the nurse who brought him some water.

Dr. Merian came in after her saying, "Look, I hear you are kissing everyone, but I'm already married son, so . . ." And Brian had laughed and cried all over again.

"Where's Adam?" Guthrie asked after Dr. Merian left.

"Oh!" Crane said. "Hannah's gonna kill me! I'll be right back!" He bolted from the room but returned almost immediately.

"I'm so glad you're awake buddy." He said squeezing Guthrie's arm. "We were all so . . ." He swallowed hard. "I'll be right back. Adam and Hannah will be here." He left again and ran through the hallway and out into the sunshine.

***7***

"Eat a little more, Guth." Hannah said moving the tray in front of him.

"It doesn't taste good. When can I come home?" He looked up at her and sighing she sat beside him.

"The end of the week, maybe." She said and seeing his face she added, "I know, Guthrie. You've been so good. You just gotta hang in there. You were really sick."

"I know. I'm sorry for fussing. I'm just bored and lonesome." She reached out and ran her hand through his hair.

"How about I go and cook you something when Adam gets here? What do you want?"

"Dutch apple pie!" He grinned.

"I don't know. That might be too much." But seeing his eyes she said, "I'll see what we can do."

***7***

"Having a solitary kidney has a few limitations." Dr. Meriam said. "He needs to be a little more careful than most kids his age and contact sports aren't a great idea. If it is really important to him, we can talk about it, but anything that could lead to an injury would be more serious for him."

"He's played soccer his whole life." Adam said.

"Well, this season would be too soon, but we can talk about it in the future." He said. "Now because he has no spleen, he needs to be careful of germs. Keep him away from

anyone who's sick. He's on antibiotics now and we will continue that in the winter. If he gets a fever at all, take him in. You can't wait and see with him."

"I know I should be worried about all of this and I am, but right now I'm just so grateful. We don't know how to thank you." Adam said.

"I'm thankful, too. Everyone here is so happy that your family has good news this time." Dr. Merian smiled and rising said, "Go take your boy home! Maybe my staff can get back to work without all you McFaddens hanging around!"

***7***

Adam McFadden looked down the length of the table and exhaled slowly. He realized that it was the first time in over a month that every spot was filled. Hannah set the last plate on the table and sat down and catching his eye she winked at him. The table was noisy, as always but it filled his heart with joy.

"Hold up, everyone." He said surprising himself. "I just wanna say . . ." His brothers, all of them, turned toward him expectantly.

"I just want to say how grateful I am that everyone is here. I think we should take a second and give thanks for it. We are are really glad that you are home Guthrie." His youngest brother blushed and ducked his head but Hannah, who sat nearest him, leaned over and kissed his forehead. He pushed her away good-naturedly.

"I'm thankful for those mash potatoes." Daniel said. "But they are getting cold, Dad."

"You better be thankful that you are too injured for me to beat you up, Son." Adam said back.

"Adam, can we eat now, please?" Guthrie said. "I'm sick to death of hospital food and this smells so good!"

"Oh, alright." Adam said and they all began to talk and eat again, but Adam, sat watching and found himself fighting down tears, again. He sighed and sat back in his chair. He closed his eyes for a brief second offering up his ten thousandth prayer of thanks. He was not surprised to see Hannah beside him, as he opened his eyes.

"Ford, let me have your chair, hon." She said and Ford got up glad to be able to walk without crutches, and moved down to her spot. She pulled his chair next to Adam's so that they both sat together at the head of the table.

"What are ya doing?" He asked.

"Sittin' by ya." She said with a grin. He smiled at her laughing and leaned over and kissed her. His brothers began to cheer and he heard Daniel say, "Oh good, grief! Lay off you two!"

Hannah laughed and pulled back but he pulled her closer and waved his hand at his brothers, and kissed his wife even more.

"Home never changes." Guthrie said and Ford leaned over and said, "Brother, you know it."


	12. Chapter 12

"I got the dishes." Crane said to Hannah when they'd finished eating.

"Thanks." She smiled up at him and kissing his cheek she left the room.

"I'll help." Evan said and Crane raised his eyebrow surprised.

"You are volunteering? You must've hit your head pretty hard in that wreck." Crane said turning to the sink.

"No, look Crane, there's something I should tell you." Evan shifted nervously.

"What?" Crane said washing a dish and handed it over to be dried by Evan.

"I cut school." Evan said.

"Today?" Crane asked surprised.

"No, before everything happened. I cut school to practice for the rodeo."

"Oh." Crane said. "Is that why you were doing Ford's chores?"

"Yeah. He knew about it. I'm really sorry." Evan said.

"Okay." Crane said.

"Are you gonna tell Adam?" Evan asked surprised.

"Nah. Adam's had enough to worry about, hasn't he? Besides, you won't do it again. Least not for a while. I'm just glad you are still around, you know?"

"Me too." Evan said. "I guess things will get back to normal again."

"I don't know if we have a normal." Crane said laughing.

***7***

The jeep sparkled in the sunlight and Brian couldn't get used to it.

"It doesn't look right." He told Daniel.

"Too shiny." Daniel agreed.

Finley had brought the jeep herself. Hannah had forgotten all about the card that Finley had given her, and even about the jeep itself. She'd been so exhausted when she'd spoken with Finley. She only had a vague memory of the conversation.

"I knew you wouldn't call him." Finley said when she arrived on their doorstep the day after Guthrie's return home. "So I took care of it."

"It's beautiful." Adam said. "But you don't have too. . ."

"Oh, it wasn't me really. The dealership is giving it to you. There's a card inside. Once I told him all about you, well, everyone wanted to help. So you have a new jeep. It's bigger than your other one. I wasn't sure about that. I told him you were ranchers and need one that could handle the work. He promised me this one would." She smiled at them.

"Finley come inside. You are staying for dinner, aren't you?" Hannah asked.

"Oh, no. I have to get to work. My assistant should be here any minute to pick me up. I swear he drives like an old lady! I just wanted to see you and see that everyone really is alright. I am so glad that Guthrie is home now."

"We are too." Adam said. "You'll have to come back and visit us again. Hannah doesn't get too much girl time around here."

"I can imagine. Thank you." Finley said surprised and touched by Adam's generosity.

Later, as he stood beside Hannah watching Finley drive away, he said, "She's nice Hannah. I wasn't sure the first time I met her. She seemed kind of . . ."

"Like she was showing off?" Hannah asked him.

"No, like she was jealous of you. She seems more content now."

"Why would she be jealous of me?" Hannah asked surprised.

"You are beautiful, for starters. And you are . . ." He tried to find the right word to express it. "You are beloved. There isn't a man in the house that doesn't think the sun rises and sets with you, girl." He smiled at her.

"How many beers did you have?" She asked him laughing.

"Zero." He said.

"Well, you are talking crazy." She said turning to go inside. "I gotta get dinner started. I've got every single one of your brothers to cook for! I hope I remember how."

***7***

"I'm pretty old to be tucked into bed, don't you think?" Guthrie asked looking up at his older brother.

"Nope." Adam said sitting beside Guthrie who was in his own bed at last. "What do you think?" He asked his wife.

"Oh, please! She'd tuck Brian in, if he let her." Guthrie groaned.

"What an interesting idea." Brian said coming in from the kitchen.

"Get your own wife!" Adam said as Hannah turned red and Brian laughed.

Brian sat on the other side of Guthrie and Hannah stood by Adam, her hand resting on his shoulder.

"How do you feel, hon?" Hannah asked.

"Tired I guess. It sure felt good to wake up in my own bed this morning."

"I think you overdid it today. We'll move you upstairs to our room in the morning. You can rest all day." She smiled at him.

"Sounds really boring." He said.

"Sounds smart." Brian said. "You do what your mama says, Guth." He grinned at Hannah who blushed again.

"Did you sleep okay last night? You didn't get too cold?" Adam asked.

"No, but I had a dream. It was one I had in the hospital but I forgot all about it."

"Was it the bad one?" Adam asked concerned.

"No, not that one. I don't have that one anymore. No. this was different." Guthrie paused to yawn. "Did Mom have reddish hair?"

"Yeah. It was a really pretty auburn - like Danny's in the summer." Adam said.

"I dreamed of her. Her voice was singing - that song you always sang when I was little. It was like I was small and we were in a rocking chair. Do you think it was a dream? Do you think maybe when I was sick she was there with me?" Adam said nothing too stunned to even speak. Their mother had rocked Guthrie to bed every night.

"She loved you, partner. I wouldn't put it past her to come to you when you needed her." Brian said softly.

"It felt like she was really there and I wanted to stay, but she said,'Time to go, Cubby Bear.' Did she call me that?" He looked up at both his brothers whose eyes were wide with surprise.

"Yes." Brian whispered.

"You always loved to snuggle close and be held, like a little bear." Adam said through tears. "So she called you that." After her death, none of them could bring themselves to call him by her nickname, and so the name had died with her.

"Maybe it was real, then because that's what she called me. And then she said, 'Your mama is waiting go on now.' And when I opened my eyes, Hannah was there." Hannah looked up shocked.

"That was real, Guthrie." Brian said. "Mom would've loved Hannah probably even more than we do. She must be happy to know we have her now."

"It would be nice to have a real memory. I hope it was real." His eyes closed. "She was really sweet." He yawned. "It is so good to be home."

"Night, partner." Brian said kissing him. "I'll be here later."

"Night Guthrie." Adam said kissing his cheek. "We love you, pal."

"Night Guth." Hannah said softly brushing his bangs back off his forehead. She rose to leave with his brothers but he caught her arm and opened his eyes.

"Could you stay for a little while?" He asked her.

"Course." She said sitting back down.

He closed his eyes again. "Can you sing to me?" He asked.

"Sure, hon." She sang a soft lullaby her own grandmother had sung to her.

_Sleep, my child may peace attend thee_

_All through the night_

_Guardian angels God will send thee_

_All through the night_

_Soft the drowsy hours are creeping_

_Hill and dale in slumber sleeping_

_I, my loving vigil, keeping_

_All through the night_

She bent to kiss him, believing him asleep, but as she bent near, he whispered softly, "Thanks Mom."

She kissed him then, her eyes shimmering with unshed tears. "Night son. I love you."

She clicked out the lamp and went out to the porch where Adam had her brothers sat, watching the stars come out one by one. Adam sat on the top step and she sat down beside him. Brian leaned against the porch rail, and Daniel stood beside him. Crane came out then too and sat a step down from Adam and Hannah, a guitar in his hands.

"The babies are all tucked in." He grinned. It was what they used to say every night when the brothers were still small.

He strummed the guitar lightly. "Sing something, Dan'l." Daniel smiled.

"I'll try. This old ribs of my aren't cooperating all the way, just yet."

They sang together under a blanket of stars. The music of their voices blending together with guitar and harmonica, and Hannah rested her head against Adam's shoulder, unable to even sing after a time; her heart was too full.

Maybe leaving school and coming here was just a simple turn in the road, but then again, maybe that turn was put there on purpose so that she would one day find herself here on this porch with these brothers; home at last; home forever.


End file.
